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  • Writer's pictureMs. Cynthia

I Lost My Husband and Found Out He Was Cheating On Me.

Photo by Kuroko Ukou on Unsplash

Dear Miss Cynthia, Miss Cynthia, this may be one of the most serious questions you’ve ever received as I really need an answer to move on and make sense of a few devastating things. I’m happy that I have an outlet to vent and thank you for being here for me! I’m crying as I write this because I feel betrayed on top of being grief-stricken. I was married for 5 years and my husband was killed in a car accident a few weeks ago as my world came crumbling down. We also had two beautiful children together. Ms. Cynthia, while making funeral arrangements and going through my husband’s personal items, I found out he was cheating on me with several different women by way of letters, cards, and more. And out of curiosity, I went through his cell phone, which was given to me by local authorities after the accident and there were countless romantic text messages and disturbing photos from other women. Ms. Cynthia, I had no idea this was going on as I was a trustworthy wife but I don’t know what to feel right now as I’m heartbroken by my husband’s untimely death and now my heart is shattered into pieces because of what I’ve found out. I’m afraid to even tell anyone because everyone is grieving including our friends and family and I don’t want my kids to ever find out because they thought so highly of him as a father and man. Should I ever tell anyone or should I take this information to my grave? I have so many mixed emotions right now I’m going insane! - Shattered in Florida Dear Shattered in Florida, The children come first. They are to NEVER know about their father's immoral behaviors. Remember the expression, "What you don't know won't hurt you!" It is true! Much of your children's future will be molded by how they deal with the death of their father. The way I see it, eventually you would have found out about your husband’s infidelity and that would have lead to a divorce.

Believe it or not, it is more emotionally devastating to divorce than to bury a spouse! Children suffer much more when parents divorce! I cannot imagine what you are going through at this point. It is best at this time to keep what you found to yourself because once words get out, there is no way to take them back. You will need someone to talk to and soon. I can better advise you personally. Please write back and leave a phone number where I can contact you. Email me again and I will give you my personal number! Please don't delay!

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